Jack works at long hours, and Mary often feels that he is not there for her. She spends every single moment of her time meeting whatever the children may need, while he feels that hes being neglected with her having no time to for his needs.
Can this type of relationship be saved? Or should it be saved? Here are some guidelines on saving a relationship.
First, you have to decide whether the relationship is worth the saving or not. While practically every relationship is possible to be saved with a lot of hard work, both parties must decide that they do want to make it work. Because if the other party has opted out and is not interested to opt back in, then there is not much that can be done.
Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. Saving a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.
If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.
You can save a relationship if you start dealing with the central issues rather than the symptoms.
Finally identifying the core problems, you can begin sharing your thoughts. This utterly means, the two of you verbalizing your true feelings and listening to your partners concerns. Hold your partners hand when you guys talk about the problems, as an indication that you want to reunite even when your emotions are twirling.
Whenever your other half talks about the things that hurt you, keep in mind that, your partners not doing because he or she wishes to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to the relationship to get better.
As soon as you have particularized the predicaments in your relationship, craft an action plan to resolve them. After that, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend as much time as you used to before, how about having a date night every week? Do take turns coming up with great, creative ways to spend Wednesday evenings together.
If communication is the problem, how about committing 20 minutes of your time before going to bed talking to each other? And, then do it.
Last but not least, do acknowledge that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take a step back. Expect there would be both laughter and tears as you go forward. Be nippy to apologize and slow to blame.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.
